Starbucks, Phase Two

My passion for Starbucks was at the peak of its honeymoon phase, Christmas season had approached and I felt a new kind of magic experiencing holiday retail in this capacity. I loved my job, I loved my co-workers, I loved the company, and I loved the insane pace during the holiday season. I'd grown very attached to my store manager as well as the assistant store manager. I found myself in a curious place because I related to their responsibilities and pressures as well as the irritations they faced dealing with a youthful staff. In many ways I was straddling both worlds, management and being a barista. I still had no additional responsibilities but found myself more and more informed about the events unfolding further up in the company. The most significant was the new district manager that had been brought onboard with the company.

One night in the crisp darkness of the winter night, my manager and I had a cigarette and discussed the changes ahead. "Things are about to change," she warned "and I'm not sure it will be for the better." I dismissed her concerns and reservations about her new boss simply as nerves and also because at the time it had very little impact on me or my life, after all it was still Starbucks, how much could it change? How wrong I was. My manager was a bundle of nerves everytime word of a visit from our new DM was anticipated, and to the untrained/naive eye it seemed unneccessary.

It was only a few weeks later the first major change was in place leaving shockwaves in my Starbucks nirvana. My beloved assistant store manager was being transferred to another store in an attempt to help resolve issues with the current store manager at that location as well as to finalize his training so that he was ready to run his own store. Word had also spread that a scandalous situation with one of our shift supervisors may create an opening for one of us to be promoted. It wasn't the ideal situation, but my greatly desired promotion was in sight and I was ready to seize the moment and make the position mine. After a number of talks with my manager, I felt I had a good chance to be promoted. I then spoke more candidly with my assistant store manager who was leaving and was told that although there was one other promotion occuring before mine, that I would be getting my much sought after recognition in only a few weeks.

I worked diligently wanting to prove that I was ready for this opportunity. My partners naturally followed my lead and direction and I sought this as an opportunity to prove my worth. I soon found myself on another cigarette break with my manager where she shared with me in confidence, that although there was another partner being considered for a shift supervisor position, she did not feel he was ready and wanted the position to go to me. It was a "matter of formality at this time and would take place within a couple of weeks".

I walked on cloud nine. At night my dreams were filled with visions of me running my own store and being the poster child for the glory of Starbucks employment. The following week, my son fell ill and it was imperitive that I stay home with him and call in sick for the first time in six month. I could hear the anger and bitterness in my manager's voice when I spoke with her. I explained that although I could try and make it in late to my shift, I wanted to give her ample time to plan for the situation. It was not enough. When I returned to work, the atmosphere had changed and I was not greeted like an equal from her any longer. Instead there was a coolness and distance that I recognized was reserved for the partners she merely tolerated. Soon my co-workers were approaching me and letting me know that the other partner that was being considered had been guaranteed the shift supervisor position and I was no longer a candidate. Although I did not want to believe the information I was being given, in my heart I knew it was true.

At a loss as to how to proceed, I called my beloved former assistant manager at his new store and spoke to him about what was going on. I poured out my heart about my disappointment and frustration that due to my family obligations at an inopportune time my dreams were being crushed. I spoke to him about the frigid treatment I had begun receiving from the store manager. He assured me that all would be alright and he would "take care of the problem". My days at the store were no longer the Starbucks nirvana they once were, there was now a black cloud hanging over my head and I feared I'd never find the love I'd had for my job again.

A week later, my assistant manager called and told me a solution was on the horizon and when I was approached with an opportunity to change stores, in exchange for my promotion, to act surprised and to be agreeable. Like a profit a few days later my manager pulled me in the backroom and told me I would be going to panel (formal promotion procedure) for the shift supervisor position and that if all went well, I would be transferring to the store my assistant store manager had transferred to. Appearing shocked was not difficult to muster since I had been told that the store he was at was considered the bowels of the local stores so the location held little appeal to me other than being reunited with my white knight.

I successfully paneled and the transition was under way for me to transfer stores and begin my training. During the celebratory call to my assistant manager, confirming the completion of my paneling, he explained to me that our new DM, was very fond of him and was quite agreeable to have me sent to his store to help him in making the changes neccessary to undo the damage from its current manager. "I convinced her I needed you specifically to make it happen." he told me. I was about to begin a new chapter in my Starbucks saga.

Starbucks, my beginning

About two years ago, I was successfully working for myself as a consultant. My current contract was with a non-profit organization that I was starting to lose a great deal of respect for and although I desperately wanted to help them progress and make the changes they wanted made, they were unwilling to think bigger than the small town they were in making things very difficult. When my contract expired in August, I decided that I was not going to renew with them and had a very serious decision on my hands, do I find new clients or do I take a step back from self-employment and find a "fun" job with minimal responsibility?

I chose the latter. I thought long and hard about what I wanted to do. It was essential that I find a job that I would enjoy. That was the sole point of working for someone else was something with minimal stress and significant enjoyment. I thought of what I enjoyed most, my daily trips to Starbucks and reading. So I applied at several of the local Starbucks as well as Barnes and Noble. After several weeks I secured an interview with an eager store manager and met with her at her store. "I'll be honest with you, I really don't have the room for a new hire right now, but I was so impressed with your application, I want to do whatever I can to get you on board rather than risk losing you." she told me over our cigarette and coffee. As our conversation continued she explained the part of my application that had struck her interest so greatly, a point that was brought up from my final manager on more than one occassion and expected to be passed on to other new employees over a two year time span.

Where it asks "Why do you want to work for Starbucks?" my answer was simple and honest, " I love coming for my cup of coffee every day and being treated like family from the people that work there and I want to provide that kind of experience for others as well." It was true. They knew me by name when I came through and although the triple grande white mochas that I would get daily were great, I also chose my location based on the people working because that interaction was as much a part of my visit as the drink I spent ridiculous amounts of money on.

I began with a great deal of reservation after a week of training. My training schedule was sketchy, almost as though I'd been forgotten, I spent all my hours either reading or doing cleaning tasks such as mopping, dishes, taking out garbage. It was a significant change from raising thousands of dollars, wearing suits to meetings, meeting with local politicians and CEOs. I wasn't sure if this is what I'd really signed on for. I was surrounded by college students. 20 somethings without a care in the world aside from their classes, love lives, and social functions. I had a husband and three children demanding my time and attention and creating limits that none of my co-workers could comprehend. To make matters worse, they had boundless energy whereas I was exhausted after spending an entire day chasing my 18 month old around the house.

The worked at lighting speed and confidence I was certain I would never achieve. There were so many types of coffee, various drinks most I'd never heard of, recipes, procedures, techniques, I was overwhelmed. I remember joking with a customer a few months later that even with my college education I felt like an idiot when I first started and that learning all that was needed to perform your duties could be a degree in itself. I pushed myself hard and found myself drawn to my assistant store manager and felt as though he had taken me under his wing to ensure I made my career at starbucks a success. I began working drive thru on weekends and making drinks like a culinary chef and closed during the weeknights with a cleaning quality I was proud of.

The gap in age difference between my fellow partners, a term Starbucks used to refer to all employed with the company, was quickly bridge and many friendships began to form. The wisdom from my additional decade of experience proved to be useful and in many ways I became the big sister/mother many of them needed in their life and they provided me a opportunity to feel youthful again during the break from my life's "responsibilities". Above all else however, I found myself growing to cherish my regular customers that would come to the store and treating them with the same affection, enthusiasm, and friendliness I had once found when I drove through for my drinks. I was no longer addicted to just my drink from Starbucks, I was addicted to Starbucks. I loved everything about my job, even taking out the garbage. When I spoke to people about working for gospel, it was with a similar passage to those devout christians speaking of the Lord. It wasn't long before I was eager to transition into a position with more responsibility. I craved the achievement within the corporation.

First Love

My 12 year old son wrote this recently for a class assignment and I felt it was worth sharing.

Disappointed By: Colin Sexton
Being disappointed happens to everyone. It’s a part of life and I am going to tell you about my most recent disappointment. It involved my closest friend Abbey LaTour and me. It all started when I asked a question:

"Will you please?” I asked. Begging her to answer my question I asked earlier. “Will you please go out with me?” “No, you have to be nice for a while.” Abbey replied with a smile on her face. She looked beautiful. She had long blondish hair, a thin body build. She had an outstanding and very strong personality of happiness, and a height that isn’t tall or short, normal. Her gleaming eyes almost knocked me off my feet.
This was happening on May twelfth, two thousand nine. We were outside during P.E. at school. We were friends who just got over a fight. She had a way of making me mad.

As I asked, “Will you pretty please go out with me?” I watched her beautiful blonde hair lightly move while the gentle breeze blew at the children outside.

“Colin, like I said, be nicer to me,” Abbey finally said. “Please for a little while?”

I was disappointed. I sighed and said, “Ok.” This was a rejection.

Just then I left school for the doctor’s office. I was told by another friend and her that if I was nicer to my dearest Abbey she would maybe go out with me. This really made my heart jump. I’ve never wanted a girl so badly. I…..I loved Abbey LaTour. When I got to the doctor’s office, I texted her asking, “Do you like me?”

“I don’t know.” She replied. I was thinking “Wow.” My brown shaggy hair was covering my disappointed face. I couldn’t stand not asking her why she said if I was nicer to her, she’d go out with me. So I asked her.

“Why do you not know if you don’t like me and yet you said if I was nicer you’d maybe go out with me?”
Once again I got a text message saying “I don’t know.”

I then decided to take a break from disappointment. So I stopped texting my beloved Abbey. It was a boring doctor’s appointment. I needed to ask her an important question. I had to ask. So I texted Abbey swiftly and slyly. “Will you please give me a chance and go out with me. Let me prove to you that I am nice and that I care for you more than anything.”

Once again, she disappointed me. “I don’t know Colin. I’m sorry.”

At that point in time I went home to change for soccer. I had to go to soccer at that point in time. Soccer was at the Peoria Park District so it was awhile before I could text again. When I did, I asked, “Why should I even try to get you?”

Her response was a little shaky. “If you wouldn’t try than you wouldn’t care.”

After that I went to bed. The next day at school I didn’t say anything about yesterday. I barely talked to her until gym. When I got home I barely texted her saying, “Please give me a chance.” Once again I was desperate.

She replied, “Colin I am not allowed to date anyone. You know that.”

I was devastated. So I replied this one message that made me jump inside my mind “What if I asked your parents. If they say ‘yes’ will you please go out with me?” Her response made me so mad, so sad.

“Probably not Colin. I don’t think you were very nice to me. Not before we got over the fight.”

I said something I meant with all my heart. I didn’t want to send the text, but it was coming out of my heart. “Than I give up. I won’t try anymore.”

It was a few hours before I sent, “We shouldn’t be friends. I’m done with you. You aren’t worth my time.”

That was the end of my relationship with Abbey LaTour. I am and was very disappointed. She was my child crush, but now I see the truth. Don’t go after blondes!

Perfect Soccer Moms

So as part of my never ending duties as a mommy, I attend soccer practic and games for both Colin and Ashlynn totaling about six hours a week. My favorite part is the other parents. They are more entertaining to watch than what takes place on the field.

You have the parents who are so dedicated that they have all the right equipment and gear, including the portable cooler they haul to each practice, the folding chairs that look as though they've been customized, and often come with multiple extended family members.

There are also the parents, who are on their phone either conducting business or chatting with friends doing whatever it takes to pass the time they are required to be there.

My favorite however, are the mothers who could walk out straight from the Stepford Wives novel. They are beautifully attired, even though they are trudging through the grass and mud, they are sure to wear their extravagant jewlery, and have their children frighteningly well behaved.

This past weekend, I was into my second hour of practice, and decided to take a huge risk of having a "GASP" cigarette, while I sat on the blanket and watched practice. I wasn't significantly close to any other families so I felt that since I was sitting out in the open air, that I wouldn't risk offending anyone. How wrong I was! Not more than a minute after I had lit the horrendous toxin than one of the Stepford Soccer Moms was glaring viciously at me. I immediately rose from my blanket and walked a safe distance from the field. After my guilty pleasure I returned to my spot, expecting to hang my head in shame.

However, the soccer gods granted me a beautiful gift this particular morning, she happened to be the parent of a teamate who has continually instigated fighting with Colin during practices. This particular 12 year old teammate is the one we jokingly refer to as "Man-tits". As the practice continued on, I watched Mrs. Perfect with her younger son, a sweet looking boy missing his two front teeth, making sure he sat unnaturally still. The child sat and looked miserable, not with being at his older brother's practice, but just plain miserable in general. He seemed completely isolated from any of life's reality other than the one's his mother has created. Mrs. Perfect continued to sit perfectly still with her son, moving only to shoot an occassional dirty look in my family's direction.

I knew without doubt that she had no idea how rude and disrespectful her son was behaving while out of earshot on the soccer field. Man-tits is the kind of boy that grows up bullying everyone smaller than him, simply because he's miserable and wants everyone else as equally miserable as he is. It initially made me angry that this woman would be so blatantly unpleasant to me without any provocation, while her son was being a bully with a fellow teammate. However within a few minutes, my anger subsided and instead a manipulating calm washed over me.

Practice was wrapping up and she had finally begun packing up her things. Mrs. Perfect took her items and began to leave the sidelines while the players continued to meet with the coach, her young son was trailing slowly behind, almost dragged by and invisible leash as he walked past me, I opened my mouth for a slice of sweet justice.

"It was so rough on Colin when he found out that the toothfairy wasn't real. That it was only his father and I pretending for him." I said loudly initiating a completely fictional conversation strictly for his benefit. Instead of being irritated by his mother, I felt it would be much more just to throw a little rock into the road of her perfect and delusional world.

Single Mother of Three Blogging

Hello to everyone out on the world wide web!

I'm taking my first stab at blogging and have absolutely no idea what I'm doing, however I must believe I have something interesting to talk about or else I wouldn't spend what little time I have to write this. Then again, these may never be read and it could end up just being a therapeutic hobby. Either way, welcome to my blog and thank you for taking the time to read it.

For anyone who doesn't know me, I am currently at the "tail" end of my second divorce. A fact that I'm embarrassed of no matter how relieved I am that I finally came to my senses and ended my marriage. I have three amazing and beautiful children (a thought I'm sure every mother has!) My oldest is 12 and in sixth grade and he's having such a difficult year, not only am I in the middle of a divorce, but his father is divorcing his second wife as well, leaving Colin's world in utter turmoil. My daughter is 8, in second grade and with every moment of annoyance she provides, she provides me double with amazement over her resilience and strength. My youngest, just turned 3 last week. He is full of laughter, energy, love, and joy even through all the changes his life has endured beyond his comprehension. Last but not least, is my golden retriever, Bella. I jokingly refer to her as the smart trade-in for my last husband. She's an amazing companion, a friend to the kids, a protector for the house, and she's great to cuddle with too!

Currently I work at Starbucks as a barista. It's an entry level position that is filled primarily with college age kids to supplement their lifestyles. Although the job started out as a temporary position while I contemplated my next career move, 20 months later I am still with the company and although there are numerous aspects of the job I don't appreciate and even resent, the core of my job (making drinks and customer relations) still drive me to stay where I am until I find the answers I was originally seeking. It's definitely not an ideal position when trying to raise three children in an unstable economy, but I am happy and surrounded by coworkers that have come to be like family to me and have touched my life in ways I'd never imagine.

So now there are the basics about who is behind the writing. I hope over time I will fill these pages with stories and thoughts that will make you laugh, cry, gasp, hope, but most of all entertain. I look forward to sharing this journey with everyone and would love to hear all the feedback. In the meantime live life with faith, hope, and a little bit of trust cause it all makes sense eventually!